LIVING FOR SELF
One marriage counselor was asked:
"What is the single greatest problem in marriage?" Without a moment's
hesitation, he replied: "Selfishness." I have no way of proving that
the counselor was right, but I have no doubt selfishness is a major problem in
marriage and in other relationships. In my book, Restoring God's Pattern
for the Home (Fayetteville, TN: International Gospel Hour,
2001), I make these comments on the meaning of "responsible
independence": "It means loving unselfishly - not for what we can get
but for what we can give. Many of us are concerned only about what we can get -
not about anyone's welfare. In 1977 Robert Ringer wrote a book, Looking
out for #1 (New York: Funk Wagnalls), which expresses the most selfish
and unchristian attitudes I have found anywhere (p. 225).
Ringer advocates moral principles
that are the exact opposite of what the scriptures teach. Jesus taught his
disciples: "A new commandment I give unto you, That you love one another;
as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this shall men know
that you are my disciples, if you have love one for another" (John
13:34-35). In his great treatise on how love behaves, Paul told the
Corinthians: "Love seeks not her own" (1 Cor. 13:5). The Good News
for Modern Man translation renders the expression, "Love is not
selfish." Paul wrote concerning Christ: "For you know the grace of
our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became
poor, that you through his poverty might be rich" (2 Cor. 8:9). Our study
today will be devoted to the theme: "Living for Self."
Our text is based on these words:
"For the love of Christ constrains us; because we thus judge, that if one
died for all, then were all dead: and that he died for all, that they who live
should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him who died for them, and
rose again" (2 Cor. 5:14-15). How can we live for ourselves in view of the
unselfish sacrifice Christ made for us? He explained to his disciples:
"Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister;
and to give his life a ransom for many" (Mt. 20:28). What if Christ had
been as selfish as many of us are? We would still be lost in sin with no hope
of eternal life.
As every parent knows, children are
often very selfish and seek their own personal interests. Adults, especially
Christians, should seek to serve others. Paul admonished the Roman Christians:
"Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor
preferring one another" (Rom. 12:10). The English Standard Version renders
the second part of that verse: "Outdo one another in showing love."
Paul urged the Galatians: "Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the
law of Christ" (Gal. 6:2). He gave similar advice to the Philippians:
"Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of
other" (Phil. 2:4).
Even though Paul had established
the church at Corinth and had made great sacrifices on their behalf, the church
did not always show gratitude toward him. He wrote to the Corinthians:
"Behold, the third time I am ready to come to you; and I will not be
burdensome to you: for I seek not yours, but you: for the children ought not to
lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children. And I will gladly
spend and be spent for you; though the more I abundantly love you, the less I
am loved" 2 Cor. 12:14-15).
After many years of working with
troubled families, I am convinced that most troubles would cease and many of
them never begin if both husbands and wives had the attitude I am examining. If
every husband would put his wife's needs, desires and concerns before his own
and every wife returned that love, how could such people ever consider
separation or divorce? But in most unhappy marriages, the husband or the wife
or both want their own way and totally disregard the wishes and needs of their
partners. This is selfish and very destructive. It is difficult for marriages
to survive selfishness.
The King James Version does not use
either the word "selfish" or the word "selfishness," but
the English Standard Version does. James asked: "Who is wise and
understanding among you?" He provides the Holy Spirit's answer: "By
his conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have
bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false
to the truth.... For where jealousy and selfish ambition exists, there will be
disorder and every vile practice" (Jas. 3:13-14, 16). Dr. Hugo McCord translates
the word "selfishness."
The King James Version uses the
word "self-willed." One of the qualifications of an elder of the
church is that a man is not to be self-willed (Tit. 1:7). In their book, The
New Linguistic and Exegetical Key to the New Testament (Grand
Rapids: Zondervan, 1998), Cleon Rogers, Jr. and Cleon Rogers III define the
word translated "self-willed": "Obstinate in one's opinion,
arrogant, refusing to listen to others" (p. 508). Vine says the one who is
self-willed is dominated by self-interest, and inconsiderate of others and
arrogantly asserts his own will" (p. 1014). The Apostle Peter used the
same word of false teachers. "Presumptuous are they, self-willed, they are
not afraid to speak evil of dignities" (2 Pet. 2: 10).
Many leaders - whether kings or
prime ministers or presidents - focus primarily on their own accomplishments
and desires. Where could I find a better example than the infamous Babylonian
ruler, Nebuchadnezzar? This powerful Babylonian ruler, like many rulers -
ancient and modern - had an inflated opinion of himself. Daniel predicted:
"This is the interpretation, O king, and this is the decree of
the most High, which is come upon my lord the king: That they shall drive you
from men, and your dwelling shall be with the beasts of the field, and they
shall make you eat grass as oxen, and they shall wet you with the dew of
heaven, and seven times shall pass over you, till you know that the most High
rules in the kingdom of men, and gives it to whomsoever he will. ... All this
came to pass upon king Nebuchadnezzar. At the end of twelve months he walked in
the palace of the kingdom of Babylon. The king spoke, and said, Is not this
great Babylon, that I have built for the house of the kingdom of my power, and
for the honor of my majesty" (Dan. 4:24-25, 28-30). It was at this time
that Nebuchadnezzar was driven from the palace and made to live like a beast.
He had to learn a very important lesson. He came to the conclusion: "Now I
Nebuchadnezzar praise and extol and honor the king of heaven, all whose works
are truth, and his ways just: and those that walk in pride he is able to
abase" (Dan. 4:37).
One does not have to be a king or a
prime minister or a president to live for oneself. Luke tells of a man who came
to Jesus and pled with him: "Master, speak to my brother, that he divide
the inheritance with me. And he (Jesus) said unto him, Man who made me a
divider over you? And he said unto him, Take heed, and beware of covetousness:
for a man's life does not consist of the abundance of the things which he
possesses." Our Lord then spoke a parable unto the man. "The ground
of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully: and he thought within himself,
saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits? And
he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and
there will I bestow all my fruits and goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul,
you have much goods laid up for many years; take your ease, eat, drink, and be
merry. But God said unto him, You fool, this night your soul shall be required
of you: then whose shall these things be, which you have provided? So is he
that lays up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God" (Lk.
12:13-21).
Jesus was not condemning riches per
se. How do we know that? Paul tells us that the love of money - not money
as such - is the root of all evil. He then commanded Timothy: "Charge them
who are rich in this world's goods, that they be not high-minded, nor trust in
uncertain riches, but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to
enjoy; that they do good, that they be rich in goods works, ready to
distribute, willing to communicate; laying up in store for themselves a good
foundation against the time to come, that they may hold on eternal life"
(1 Tim. 6:10, 17-19).
It ought to be obvious that the
rich man in our Lord's parable was living for himself. He made a number of
grievous blunders. He did not realize that he could not have prospered without
the Lord's provisions. He gives no credit to the Lord for his goodness. Did you
notice how many times he uses personal pronouns? "This will I do. I will
pull down my barns ... and there I will bestow all my goods." Did he not
know that God blesses us so we can bless others? In the passage I read to you
from 1 Timothy, Paul used the word "communicate." That word in the
verb form of the word translated "fellowship." The word means to
share, to have fellowship with and to be a partner with. Paul used the word
three times in Philippians. Two of those uses shed light on our topic. Paul
thanked the Philippians for their "fellowship in the gospel from the first
day" until he wrote the letter (Phil. 1:5). He also told the Philippians:
"Now you Philippians know also, that in the beginning of the gospel, when
I departed from Macedonia, no church communicated with me as concerning giving
and receiving, but you only. For even in Thessalonica you sent once and again
unto my necessity. Not that I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound
to your account. But I have all, and abound: I am full, having received of
Epaphroditus the things that were sent from you, an odor of sweet smell, a
sacrifice acceptable, well-pleasing to God" (Phil. 4:15-18).
In his arrogance for believing that
he was totally responsible for his good fortune, the rich man did not thank for
God his part in his prosperity. He planned to use all his goods for himself.
"I will say to my soul, Soul, you have much goods laid up for many years;
take your ease, eat, drink and be merry." He was either ignorant of or
decided to overlook what James told his readers. "For what is your life?
It is even a vapor, that appears for a little time, and then vanishes
away" (Jas. 4:14). James used a play on words in this passage. He actually
said: "Life appears and then disappears." Anyone who thinks he has a
promise of tomorrow is not being very wise. "For that you ought to say, If
the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that. But now you rejoice in your
boastings: and all such rejoicing is evil" (Jas. 4:15-16).
Should not every child of God
dedicate his life wholly to his Creator and Sustainer? Just today I heard a
financial advisor say in a radio advertisement: "The most important thing
for older people is to know they are financially secure." As an older
person, I am fully aware of older people's need to be financially secure, but
that is not the most important thing in any person's life. Your relationship to
God almighty - regardless of your age - is more important than all other
aspects of your life combined. If you believe in God and in life after death,
you know that is absolutely true.
Under the Jewish covenant, every
child was taught or should have been taught: "Hear, 0 Israel: The Lord our
God is one Lord: and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and
with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words, which I command
you this day, shall be in your heart: and you shall teach them diligently unto
your children, and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when
you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up. And you shall
bind them for a sign upon your hand, and they shall be frontlets between your
eyes. And you shall write them upon the posts of your house, and on your
gates" (Dt. 6:4-9).
During Christ's personal ministry, a lawyer among the Pharisees tried to tempt or to test him by asking: "Master, what is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets" (Mt. 22:34-40). The expression, "with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind," was our Lord's way of emphasizing that we are to love God with all our very being.
Every serious Bible student is
familiar with these words from the Lord's Sermon on the Mount: "Seek first
the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things (that is, food,
clothing and shelter) shall be added unto you" (Mt. 6:33). The tense of
the verb "seek" demands that we constantly "seek the kingdom of
God and his righteousness." As important as our initial obedience to the
gospel is, that is not adequate. Paul commanded the Corinthians:
"Therefore, my beloved brethren. Be steadfast, unmovable, always abounding
in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as you know that your labor is not in vain
in the Lord" (1 Cor. 15:58). Similar instructions are found throughout the
Bible - from Genesis to Revelation.
Does loving God with our heart,
soul and mind mean also that we must love our neighbor also? Can we truly love
God and not love our neighbor? Did not Jesus tell the lawyer among the
Pharisees: "The second (commandment) is like unto it (the first), You
shall love your neighbor as yourself' (Mt. 22:39)? What does it mean to love my
neighbor? Both the Old Testament and the New tell us what it means. Moses
reveals the nature of God. "For the Lord your God is God of gods, and Lord
of lords, a great God, and terrible, who regards not persons, nor takes reward:
He executes judgment of the fatherless and widow, and loves the stranger, in
giving him food and raiment" (Dt. 10:17-18). Does God expect us to imitate
his example? "Love therefore the stranger: for you were strangers in the
land of Egypt. You shall fear the Lord your God; him shall you serve, and to
him shall you cleave, and swear by his name. He is your praise, and he is your
God, that has done for thee these great and terrible things, which your eyes
have seen" (Dt. 10:19-21).
Few books in the Bible are more
explicit about a Christian's duty to help others than the beautiful little book
of 1 John. The Apostle John wrote: "We know that we have passed from death
unto life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brothers
abides in death.... Hereby we perceive the love of God, because he laid down
his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoso
has this world's goods, and sees his brother have need, and shuts up his heart
of compassion from him, how does the love of God dwell in him? My little
children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in
truth" (1 John 3: 14-18). The Apostle John asks: "For he who does not
love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not
seen" (1 John 4:20)? Loving God means also loving our families, our fellow
church members and our neighbors. Does it also mean loving our enemies? Jesus
taught his disciples: "Love your enemies, bless them who curse you, do
good to them who despitefully use you, and persecute you; that you may be the
children of your Father who is in heaven: for he makes his sun to rise on the
evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust" (Mt.
5:44-45).
Living for God and others rather
than just living for self means always doing the will of God (John 8:29). We
must study Acts of the Apostles to learn what alien sinners must do to be
saved. Frankly, that is a very easy task. There really is nothing very
complicated about it, although some theologians almost completely overlook the
simple teaching of Acts. Do you remember what occurred in the city of Corinth?
The Jews apparently invited Paul to speak in their synagogue. We do not know
all he said, but we know his emphasis was teaching that Jesus is the Christ. We
know exactly what happened as a result of his preaching. "Crispus, the
chief ruler of the synagogue, believed on the Lord with all his house; and many
of the Corinthians hearing believed, and were baptized" (Acts 18:4-5, 8).
When the Corinthians believed and
were baptized, were they saved? We know they were added to the church (1 Cor.
12:13). Would they have been saved and added to the church had they not be
baptized? I have three final questions for you. Do you believe that Jesus
Christ is the Son of God? Will you confess him before men (Mt. 10:32-33),
repent of your alien sins (Acts 17:30-31) and be baptized to have your sins
remitted (Acts 2:38)? Will you then dedicate your life to serving God and your
fellowmen?
Winford
Claiborne
The International Gospel Hour
P.O. Box 118
Fayetteville, TN 37334