Restoring God’s Pattern for the Home #5

 

            Bertrand Russell, the notoriously immoral English agnostic, was vicious and unrelenting in his attacks against the Bible’s teaching on human sexuality.  He argued that the Bible’s warped ideas about sex could be understood only if one knew what was occurring in the Roman Empire at the time the New Testament was written.  Of course, Russell and his first wife, Dora, did not want anyone interfering with their sexual escapades.  Incidentally, Dora Russell was just as immoral as her famous husband.  Oddly enough, Bertrand Russell objected to his daughter’s being sexually promiscuous like he and his first wife had been.  It does make a difference in a father’s views about sex, when he loves his daughter.  But I wonder if Russell ever thought about fathers whose daughters were his sexual consorts.

 

            Does the Bible have a pattern for sexual expressions within the marriage relationship?  There are many passages in the Bible which deal with sex, but I want to direct your attention today to 1 Corinthians 7.  Please listen carefully as I read to you the first nine verses of this powerful teaching on the intimate aspect of marriage.  “Now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.  Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.  Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife has not power over her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband has not power over his own body, but the wife.  Defraud not one the other, except it be with consent for a season, that you may give yourselves to fasting and to prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinence.  But I speak this by permission and not by commandment.  For I would that all men were even as I myself.  But every man has his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.  I say therefore to the unmarried and to widows, It is good for them to abide even as I.  But if they cannot contain, let them marry: it is better to marry than to burn.”

 

            There are many very significant truths recorded in these nine verses, but I shall not have time today to examine all of them.  But please pay special attention to the following information.  If you listened to our reading of 1 Corinthians 7:1-9, you could not avoid noticing the emphasis on sexual exclusiveness in the marriage covenant.  “Let every man have his own wife, and let every husband have her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2).  When we pledge our love to our mates for life, sexual relations outside marriage are sinful, destructive and eternally damning.  “They which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God” (Gal. 5:21; 1 Cor. 6:9-11).  Joseph Fletcher, the infamous situation ethicist, thinks it may not be wise or right in every case for husbands and wives to be unfaithful to their marriage vows, but it is not always sinful.  If good comes from such an outside interest and nobody is harmed, it could be “healthy adultery.”  Fletcher would like to amend the Ten Commandments to read: “Thou shalt not “ordinarily” commit adultery.”  In fact, he insists that the word “ordinarily” should be added to each of the Ten Commandments.  Ted Turner has gone one step father than Joseph Fletcher.  Turner has invented his own ten commandments.  You can rest assured that a commandment forbidding adultery is not one of Ted Turner’s Ten.

 

            God demands that married men “drink waters from their own cistern, running water from their own well” (Prov. 5:15).  Sexual favors of men and women belong to their spouses only.  “Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you” (Prov. 5:17).  With the advent of AIDS, this may be easier for some married people to obey.  But the Bible does not approach sexual immorality--either premarital sex or extramarital sex--from a pragmatic viewpoint.  Adultery is not wrong because the participants might become diseased or an unwanted pregnancy might occur.  Men and women must not be sexually immoral because God our heavenly forbids such behavior.  It is possible that some men and women might not fully comprehend the seriousness of sexual sin, but whether or not they do, they must remain pure because that is the will of almighty God.  If we want to honor him and to have his divine approval, we will do precisely what he says, in the way he says do it, and for the reason he says do it.

 

            My friends, I am not saying that the Bible ignores the physical penalties which often accompany sexual immorality.  Solomon raised these questions with regard to sexual misconduct: “Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?  Can one go on hot coals, and his feet not be scorched?  So he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife and touches her shall not be innocent...  He who commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding: he who does it destroys his own soul.  A wound and dishonor shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away”  (Prov. 6:27-29; 32-33).  Solomon provides for us a classic description of prostitution which ends with these words: “With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.  He goes after her immediately, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks; till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hastes to the snare, and know not it is for his life” (Prov. 7:2-23).

 

            According to the scriptures--including 1 Corinthians 7--God’s arrangement for sexual fulfillment in the marriage act was designed for human enjoyment and not just for reproduction of the human race.  Please notice Solomon’s colorful language.  “Rejoice with the wife of your youth...Let her breasts satisfy you at all times, and be infatuated with her love” (Prov. 5:18-19).  Neither Proverbs, the Song of Solomon nor 1 Corinthians 7 says one word about perpetuating the human family through sexual contact.  These passages discuss the beauty, the ecstasy, the fulfillment and the joy of sexual union and communion.  The word “infatuated” should provide a clue into what God intended for the intimate sexual relationship.  Other versions render the word “ravished,” “captivated.”  The word could be translated “exhilarated” or “intoxicated.”  The Bible nowhere leaves the impression that God meant for one’s sexual privileges and responsibilities in marriage to be a burden, as many of the ancient church fathers believed and taught.

 

            Christians and all other people should remember that one’s sexual conduct does not escape the Lord’s attention.  “For man’s way are before the eyes of the Lord, and he watches all his paths” (Prov. 5:21).  If we believe we can be sexually promiscuous or sinful in other ways without incurring the Lord’s anger, we are deceiving ourselves.  God demands that we exercise self-control regarding sexual matters, just as he wants us to be disciplined in all other phases of our lives.  Solomon warns us that an immoral man “dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is lost” (Prov. 5:23).  These warnings, urgings and pleadings should cause us to think soberly and to conduct ourselves righteously in the sight of God and of our fellowmen.

 

            Now please turn to 1 Corinthians 7.  The Corinthians had sent a number of questions about marriage to the apostle Paul.  We are not able to give an exact formulation to these questions, but one of the questions related to the legitimacy of sexual expressions of love in the marriage relationship.  Paul opened his discussion by affirming: “It is good for a man not to touch a woman” (1 Cor. 7:1).  Unfortunately, this verse has been used to downgrade the sexual relationship, although the verse has nothing to do with that topic.  Paul is discussing the legitimacy of marriage--not what married couples do in marriage.  He really is teaching that it is good for a man not to get married.

 

            This verse has been used by certain religious leaders to exalt celibacy.  But Paul is not teaching that being single is a higher and holier state than being married.  Celibacy is certainly the right of each individual--as Paul clearly teaches in this chapter--but it is not a more righteous choice than getting married.  One point needs to be stressed in passing.  The decision to remain single is your choice--not someone else’s choice.  No church has a right to require anyone to remain single.  You might be a better servant of the Lord if you did not get married, but you might not be.  It depends on your desires, your goals and your ability to control your sexual appetite.  Please remember Paul’s words: “It is better to marry than to burn” (1 Cor. 7:9).

 

            Paul uses the word “good” in verse one.  In some contexts, the word means morally good, wholesome, God-approved.  But it does not mean that in this verse.  Let me show you from this chapter why I have arrived at that conclusion.  If “good” (kalon in the Greek) means morally good in reference to remaining single, then marriage would be morally evil.  If that were true, then the Lord’s observation in Genesis 2:18 would be incorrect: “And the Lord said, It is not good that the man should be alone: I will make him an help meet for him.”  Besides, 1 Corinthians 7 says very plainly, “But and if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she has not sinned” (1 Cor. 7:28).  Actually, those who forbid marriage for anyone (who is eligible to get married) are guilty of apostasy (1 Tim. 4:3).

 

            The apostle Paul had a right to marry, but chose not to exercise that right (1 Cor. 9:5).  His decision not to marry was his decision but he made it in view of his service in the kingdom of God--not because he could not have served God acceptably as a married man.  It is my judgment from reading Paul’s writings that he could not have done so much as a married man as he did as a single man.  But that in no way obligates anyone to follow Paul’s example of remaining single.  Paul refers to celibacy as a “gift” (1 Cor. 7:7), but does not infer that anyone who does not have the gift is any less dedicated to the Lord’s service or is less righteous and holy than the one who has the gift.  The conclusion from this brief study, then, very simple: You can get married or you can remain single.  Whichever you choose, use that choice in service unto God and to your fellow human beings.

 

            There are people who are so able to control their sexual appetites that they have no wish or need to get married.  The great apostle Paul is a good example.  But not everyone is so constituted.  I, for one, am very glad of that fact that I am able to be a married man.  If everyone chose to stay single--which is not likely to happen--the human race would come to a screeching halt.  For those who would have difficulty controlling their sexual appetites if they do not marry, Paul gave this inspired advice: “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2).  Why did the so-called “church fathers”--Origen, Augustine, Tertullian and Jerome--ignore the plain teaching of this verse?  Many of those men were literally eaten alive with sexual desires, but they chose to turn aside from the Bible’s simple remedy for burning passions--getting married.

 

            Betrand Russell, the British agnostic, severely criticized Paul for his statement in verse 2.  He accused Paul of belittling marriage when he mentioned marriage as a prevention, or a cure, for sexual immorality.  But how could Russell or any other unbeliever recognize any absolute standard of right and wrong?  How could Russell condemn anyone for doing anything?  But Bertrand Russell misunderstood Paul or else he deliberately misinterpreted him.  If Paul had said that avoiding sexual immorality was the sole reason for getting married, Russell might have some basis for objecting to Paul’s writings, but Paul did not say that.  The Bible--including Paul’s writings--gives a number of good reasons for getting married, but one of these--and a legitimate one, too,--is avoiding sexual immorality.

 

            Suppose your physicians says to you, “I want you to drink a glass of orange juice every day.”  If you were to ask why, he might say, “The vitamin C should help to fortify you against colds.”  Would you react by saying, “But that is a negative reason for drinking orange juice.  I want a positive reason.”  The truth is that orange juice tastes good and is good for you, but it also helps you to avoid colds and perhaps other illnesses as well.  We also eat because food tastes good and to avoid getting sick and dying.  Betrand Russell’s objections to Paul’s teaching about marriage are ill-founded and probably biased.

 

            While we are examining verse 2, I want to say a few words about the word “fornication.”  The Greek word porneia just simply means “any kind of sexual immorality”--not just premarital sex, as many preachers and others have incorrectly taught.  Many Bible students know that adultery usually means illicit sexual union between two people--one of whom is married.  They conclude, then, that fornication is illicit sex between two unmarried people.  But that is not a correct reading of the Greek.  Fornication is used, in the Bible, of incest (1 Cor. 5:1), of adultery (Mt. 19:9) and of homosexuality (Jude 7).  With these bible facts in mind, where does the bible condemn--or does it condemn--premarital sex?  Would it surprise you that theologians like John Shelby Spong, Victor Paul Furnish, Joseph Fletcher and a host of others do not condemn premarital sex?  It does not surprise me, but it does disturb me tremendously.  Just think of the damage these compromising theologians do to our young people.  The spread of genital herpes, gonorrhea, syphilis and AIDS must be laid at the feet of such theologians and those who follow their radical advice.

 

            In the early 1970’s, Dr. John Dedek, a Roman Catholic priest and a seminary professor, wrote a little book with the title, Contemporary Sexual Morality (Kansas City: Sheed Andrews and McMeel, 1971).  Dr. Dedek, an obviously capable scholar, affirms that the churches are taking a much more liberal view of premarital sex.  More and more preachers seem to believe that churches ought to be more accepting and less judgmental and that preaching against sin and discussing hell make people feel guilty (p. 20).  I do have some questions regarding Dr. Dedek’s statements.  Do churches have a right to take a more liberal view of premarital sex?  If so, who gave them that right?  The Bible certainly does not take a soft line on premarital sex.  How do preachers arrive at the position that they should not discuss sin and hell?  Should preachers make people feel guilty--if they are guilty?

 

            Dr. Dedek discusses the meaning of the word “fornication” and then says” “It is not clear that this word ever designates simple fornication” (p. 28).  He doubts that the New Testament ever forbids all sexual relations outside of marriage (p. 28).  Dr. Dedek may have some doubts, but there is no room for such doubts.  Let me read again these words from 1 Corinthians 7:2:  “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.”  Please look at the verse very carefully and answer a question: “To whom was Paul addressing this verse?”  He is not addressing married people; they already have their wives and husbands.  He is speaking specifically to unmarried people.  He said very simply, “If you cannot control your sexual appetite, then get married.  If you do not get married you might be tempted to engage in fornication--which in this verse, means premarital sex.  Please listen carefully to another of Paul’s statements:  “But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn” (1 Cor. 7:9).  My friends, is it a part of God’s pattern for the home that both men and women should be morally pure when they enter the marriage bond?  You know it is because the Bible makes that truth too plain for anyone to doubt.  Besides, if you marry someone who has been sexually immoral, how do you know he or she does not have AIDS?

 

Winford Claiborne

The International Gospel Hour

P.O. Box 118

Fayetteville, TN 37334

 

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